A note about this week's column: I wrote the whole first section about William Finn's show A New Brain before he passed away. How amazing that he was on my mind. Please read this column knowing that I didn't know what was to come. I will dedicate my next column to him.

Spring is here! I’m hearing the song “I Feel So Much Spring” from A New Brain in my head non-stop. That song is a combination of beautiful and traumatic for me. Why, you ask? Here is the origin story!

Back in the 1990s, Jason Robert Brown asked me to be his assistant for a new musical by William Finn. I was so excited! We rehearsed the two-week reading down at the Public Theater. It was especially amazing for me because I was a super-fan of William Finn’s Falsettoland, which I had seen numerous times Off-Broadway.

P.S. I did a video for Playbill where I finally rectified the missing Eb that Janet Metz belted in the opening number. Please watch ASAP.

Anyhoo, Jason was the music director and the vocal arranger. He did such a fantastic job. He wound up not music directing the final production when it went to Lincoln Center because he was working on his first Broadway show as composer and lyricist….Parade. However, Jason’s fantastic vocal arrangements stayed. The wonderful Ted Sperling took over as music director and asked me to be his assistant for the workshop. Ted is such a great MD (Not doctor…MD is showbiz talk for music director). I was disappointed I wound up not being able to do the full production with him. However, the reason I couldn’t do it was a pleasant one: I had gotten a job as a comedy writer on The Rosie O’Donnell Show. Werk!

Back to trauma: Ted asked me to be his sub when he needed to take off shows. I loved doing it! The score was so great, and it had a wonderful piano part. The horrific part for me (and the audience) happened at the end of my first performance. 

Ted told me that at the end of the show, during the song, “I Feel So Much Spring,” he would come onstage and play violin while Steven Freeman, who played the other keyboard, would take over the main piano part. Well, I play violin, so I told Ted I could do that as well. Now, mind you, Ted is an amazing violinist, and I am probably at the level of a kid in ninth grade who plays in the second violin section of the school orchestra. Not section leader of the second violin section. Like, the back of the seconds. I’m basically the violinist version of Fredrik Egerman in A Little Night Music when he talks about sitting in the nude to entice his wife, “That might be effective, my body’s all right. But not in perspective, and not in the light.”

My point is, I could play it ish …as long as no one was listening too closely to tone, intonation, or accuracy of what was written in the score. Ted told me that when the song began, I should leave the piano and stand backstage. Then, right before I play the first notes on the violin, I should walk onstage while the cast is singing. At the end of their phrase, I should launch into my first violin notes.

P.S. If you don’t know, a sub never gets a chance to practice the show with the orchestra and the cast. You practice by yourself. The first time you finally do it with everyone is literally in front of a paying audience. I cover all of this in my first book Broadway Nights, where the main character is a piano/conductor sub. 

(And P.P.S. Broadway Nights is not my diary! It’s a book of fiction. Cheyenne Jackson told me that he thought it was my memoir the whole time he was reading it. What the ----? The main character is a nightmare! I mean…yes, he’s a musician. Yes, he’s Jewish. Yes, he lives on the Upper West Side. Yes, he loves dogs. Yes, he’s a vegetarian…but his name is Stephen! Huge difference.)

Anyhoo, back to my first performance for A New Brain. I was waiting backstage with my violin and heard my cue. I walked out onstage and blended myself into the background. There I am, standing in the back of the cast, nervous about the sounds about to emit from my violin, but calming myself down by thinking, “It doesn’t matter if I sound awful. Who’s going to be paying attention? There’s a whole cast in front, facing the audience. That’s who everyone is looking at.” Then, as I lifted my violin to play, I found out, in the moment, that the staging by Graciela Daniele was to have the entire cast turn around, look at me, and basically tell the audience, “Please shift any and all focus to the brilliant violinist you’re about to hear. Ladies and gentlemen, Itzhak Perlman.”

Is it possible to play violin well while having a panic attack?

Short answer: It is not. “I Feel So Much Spring” became “I Hear So Much Squeak.” I’m not saying I ruined the show, but you’ll notice it is no longer running.

Here’s the song from album where you can hear Ted’s amazing playing (and Jason’s wonderful vocal arrangement).

P.S. The original wonderful actor playing Roger had some vocal problems, so they asked Norm Lewis to step in for the recording. Norm learned it so fast that he was reading music the whole time he recorded it and, at certain points on the album, you can hear him turning the pages!

Two more things related to that. First, Norm was the final Roger in that run of A New Brain. In the very first production at the Public Theater, the character was played by Gregg Edelman, who was wonderful, and then by Alan Campbell for the Lincoln Center workshop. Alan was doing “double duty,” as we say in the biz, meaning he was rehearsing the reading during the day and starring in Sunset Boulevard at night. Actually, he was doing triple duty, because the rest of his time was spent listening to me badger him with questions about his co-star, Betty Buckley. I was completely obsessed with her and wanted to know everything. Amazingly, Betty needed a new pianist, and instead of Alan warning her of a possible stalker, he recommended me! That’s how Betty and I started working together.

I was living on 72nd street and Columbus at the time. She would pick me up in her amazing Sunset Boulevard-sponsored car and we’d drive down to Joan Lader's where I’d be the pianist at her lessons. Can you imagine how much I was freaking out listening to her sing two feet away from me? I am so thankful to Alan for hooking me up! That was around 1996, and Betty and I have been close ever since. As a matter of fact, I just spent last weekend doing a concert with her at Mercyhurst University where she is an Artist-In-Residence. It was so incredible sharing the stage with her. Not only did she do classics from her amazing career (including her first Broadway solo, “He Plays The Violin”), but we also sang so many fun duets like “Love Song” from Pippin (the show in which she replaced Jill Clayburgh as Catherine and stayed in it for two and a half years). She acknowledges it was a long time to play one role but, as she says, “I needed the salary to pay for my acting classes and therapy.” Brava on the honesty!

We also sang “I’ll Never Fall in Love Again" from Promises Promises. She starred in the original London production opposite Tony Roberts. Interesting side note, when I got to interview Burt Bacharach, he told me that the show was so stressful during its out-of-town tryout that his lyricist Hal David went into the hospital with pneumonia. When Hal got out, they added the aforementioned Act Two love song and Hal gave his recent illness a tip o’ the hat. That’s why there’s the lyric, “What do you get when you kiss a guy? You get enough germs to catch pneumonia!”

Here Betty is with the late, great Tony Roberts, who was then “Anthony” Roberts. He told me that when he started making films, they told him that Tony was a more marketable first name. Who does that research? So specific!

Of course, Betty and I talked about her incredible performance in The Mystery of Edwin Drood where she ends “The Writing on the Wall” on a sustained high E. It is so brilliant!

If you don’t know, the high note happened spontaneously at the reading. Betty was supposed to end it on a B but she popped up the high note and everyone freaked out. The amazing part is the reading was recorded! Here’s my deconstruction of that momentous moment.

Everyone must now see Betty at her upcoming Joe’s Pub run!

And finally, I mentioned before that I couldn’t do A New Brain because I was working on The Rosie O’Donnell Show. I met Rosie in 1994 during Grease, where I also met Megan Mullally. I’m going to be with Megan doing a concert in Kansas City on Sunday April 13th at the Folly Theater. Tickets are available here!

So many folks only think of her as the hilarious sasstress, Karen, on Will & Grace, but she is first and foremost a Broadway baby. As a matter of fact, combining Rosie/Megan/Broadway into my last hurrah of this week’s column, I wrote the two opening numbers for Rosie when she was hosting the Tony Awards. The first one in 1998 was dedicated to Broadway divas and featured Patti LuPone, Jennifer Holliday, and Betty Buckley and the one in 2000 one featured TV stars who began on Broadway: Jesse L. Martin, Jane Krakowski, and Megan!

Here's that video!

Enjoy and then come see me and Megan in Kansas City! 

Plus, my Big Fat Broadway Cruise is still booking. Come join me and my friends—Stephanie J. Block, Lilli Cooper, and Sebastian Arcelus—August 1–8. We'll travel from Seattle, Washington, through Alaska and into Victoria, BC. You'll get to see the glaciers by day and get exclusive concerts at night (you might even get to perform with me and these Broadway stars)! Click here to book.

Peace out!