The show, which previously toured the U.K. in 2014, is written by French herself, based on her life and career. According to press materials, she takes audiences through the various lessons life has taught her, and the things she knows for sure.

She shares how she has misguidedly spent her whole life vigorously attempting to be a fully functioning female human. Her extraordinary lack of willpower, combined with an enviable knack for nosey parking and showing off, has driven her to grapple with the big stuff of life in public. 30 million minutes of life in fact. That's how long she's been alive, give or take a few minutes here and there.

In a press statement, she commented, "I shall be buying new pants in honour of this exciting opportunity to bring my show into London's glittery West End, so every audience member can relax in the knowledge that I will be fully contained and utterly fragrant at all times. Look, it's not a play, it's not stand up, it's not a monologue, it's not a slide show, but it's something a bit like all of those with some alarming extreme striptease thrown in. Please don't bother with it if you don't usually enjoy yourself, it's only for marvellous lovely people. All grumpy f******s should stay at home. Those of us who DO turn up, myself included, will share an evening we won't forget in a hurry. I promise that."

It is directed by Michael Grandage, with designs by Lez Brotherston and lighting by Willie Williams. It is produced by Phil McIntyre Entertainments and Michael Grandage Company.

To book tickets, contact the box office on 0844 482 9675 or visit www.nimaxtheatres.com/vaudeville-theatre.